If we are not in the moment, our energies are scattered and we are not using our energies efficiently. If we are not using our energies efficiently, we are not fully giving or experiencing ourselves as the best lovers we can be.
Obsessing over performing sexual techniques correctly, thinking about how your lover hurt you, or worrying about pleasing our lover are all indications that we are not in the moment. These thoughts usually bring up feelings of fear, inadequacy, or sadness. Negative thoughts and feelings are usually the reason for a man’s impotence and a woman not being able to orgasm.
On a subconscious level we all know when someone is not in the moment, but we may not be able to articulate it. Use the negative feelings as an indication that you are not present and do something to shift such as: talking with your lover, consciously putting your problems on hold, focusing on your breath, focusing on the sensations in your body, or listening to their moans of pleasure. Dancing together, or doing a simple lead/follow exercise will help you to get reconnected: simply put your hands together while one person leads the hand backward, forward, up down, and in circles, the other one follows and then you switch.
You and your lover deserve 100% your best sexual energies. If you want to become a better lover, practice being in the moment.
Wow! This could not have come at a better time!! Being caught up in whatever has been preventing my orgasm lately. It has been very frustrating as I couldnt understand why and it seemed to be making feelings of inadequacy worse! At the same time it seemed to become more about orgasming for the benefit of my partners ego. Thank you for these tips to be more present.:)
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