One of the first things we learn in sex school is that sex is just sex. We as human beings, add our own meaning to the word. Words are just symbols. The string of letters S-E-X form a word that we add our own meaning to, just as we add our own meaning to the act.
Sex means different things to different people. The meaning is developed over the years based on belief, attitude, values, experiences, and those who are most influential to us (parents, clergy, teachers, peers, significant others, etc.). What does sex currently mean to you? What does sex currently mean your partner? Is there a difference or a gap in the meaning? What would you like sex to mean or be like?
Discovering an individuals meaning of sex, is the first place I start in discovering how and where begin working with clients. Good new is that our meaning of sex can change and it should. All of us are all the product of the same collective sex negative culture, and most of us are oblivious to it. It's confusing, I know. But once we see our blind spots, we can make different choices and have the kind and quality of sex we want!
